Thursday, June 3, 2010

Living Well

Hello again!  Sorry it's been so long since I've last posted an update.  There are a couple of reasons (read, excuses).  First, I've been working hard to finish my Master's degree (MBA)...which I submitted my last assignment for yesterday.  I have a week of class next week, then I'm totally done!  It has been such a great program...but I'm ready to be finished now :).

Second, I've been struggling with what to say.  This next part may sound strange, but it's been a tough transition back to health.  While I was sick, I really came to a place of incredible peace.  The fear of death was fading.  How I might die was no longer a mystery.  If I was going to be beaten by cancer, I was going to die well.  When the news came that the surgery was successful, we were overjoyed...and continue to be so.  There was also a sense of 'now what?'.  What does my experience mean for who I'm supposed to be moving forward.  I'm different, but will I stay that way?  Will I just slip back into the mediocrity of life and forget the vivid lessons that God entrusted me with?  And how long would I have to keep it up?  Death was once again a mystery.  I'm in no way suggesting that I was sorry for being healed, I just didn't know there would be an emotional period of transitioning back to health.

A few weeks ago, Roz and I went to hear John Piper speak at Trinity Western.  He talked about the need to live well and to die well.  I realized that while it took a lot to decide to die well, it was made a little easier by the fact that it was short-term commitment.  I was now faced with needing to make the decision to live well...which is a commitment for an unknown period of time and for unknown circumstances.  I could not just drift from being sick back to being healthy, I had to decide to live well.  That's no small decision.  I'm still trying to unpack what it means...I think it could take a lifetime.  I guess that's why God tells us to just worry about today!