Hello again! Sorry it's been so long since I've last posted an update. There are a couple of reasons (read, excuses). First, I've been working hard to finish my Master's degree (MBA)...which I submitted my last assignment for yesterday. I have a week of class next week, then I'm totally done! It has been such a great program...but I'm ready to be finished now :).
Second, I've been struggling with what to say. This next part may sound strange, but it's been a tough transition back to health. While I was sick, I really came to a place of incredible peace. The fear of death was fading. How I might die was no longer a mystery. If I was going to be beaten by cancer, I was going to die well. When the news came that the surgery was successful, we were overjoyed...and continue to be so. There was also a sense of 'now what?'. What does my experience mean for who I'm supposed to be moving forward. I'm different, but will I stay that way? Will I just slip back into the mediocrity of life and forget the vivid lessons that God entrusted me with? And how long would I have to keep it up? Death was once again a mystery. I'm in no way suggesting that I was sorry for being healed, I just didn't know there would be an emotional period of transitioning back to health.
A few weeks ago, Roz and I went to hear John Piper speak at Trinity Western. He talked about the need to live well and to die well. I realized that while it took a lot to decide to die well, it was made a little easier by the fact that it was short-term commitment. I was now faced with needing to make the decision to live well...which is a commitment for an unknown period of time and for unknown circumstances. I could not just drift from being sick back to being healthy, I had to decide to live well. That's no small decision. I'm still trying to unpack what it means...I think it could take a lifetime. I guess that's why God tells us to just worry about today!
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Hi Brian,
ReplyDeleteI'm getting to know your Mom through the coach training program she's taking and in which I'm teaching. She has sent me your blog and I've been blessed reading it. Many thanks for these profound and honest reflections on the journey through which you have been thriving. Living well is something I'm coming to call a theopraxis of flourishing. In plain English, it's flourishing in the practice of the faith. The best guide I've found is the list of the fruits of the Spirit in Galatians 5:23-24 (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-discipline). As we live forward, moving from one breath into the next, we discover new opportunities and choices to make these qualities of flourishing more consciously present for ourselves and others whose lives we are called to bless. These are the best practices I've found to date to live into the encouragement of Hebrews 10:23-24 - "Let us hold fast to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who had promised is faithful, and let us consider how to provoke one another to love and good deeds." I will join those praying for your continuing recovery and, even more fervently, for the Spirit's provocations in living well and flourishing one breath after another.